(no subject)

[tanaise]

Guys always ask why you can't go out in the city alone at night.  I can't go out after dark because I'm a girl.  it's unfair, it's not universally true, and it sucks. 

I can however have a very good time walking around with someone for nearly 2.5 hours, including seeing John Kerry's house and going to Trader Joe's (so glad I didn't have money with me, though I probably could have restrained myself and just bought a candy bar or some such.)  Lots of walking, most of it slowly,  lots of talking, most of about nothing important, and a leisurely ramble through the grocery store.  "You just keep talking, and I'll just keep interupting you, don't worry about it."  I never do.  I pause and wait for the end of the interuption, or I get distracted and go off on a tangent with them.  There really is something about walking through a grocery store and just looking at the food.  lots of exotic foods that I haven't ever made, but maybe i should.  And natural food stores have the best 'candy' stuff. 

So, there's been one defining characteristic about boys who I adore for, oh, quite some time now.  Pretty much since I moved to DC, so 4 years, but probably longer, thanks to some college crushes.  Every time I fall for a boy, he has a girl.  And while I'd really hoped I was over that, it doesn't seem like I am.  I may or may not tell him I want first dibs on him when he's single. But as...unhappy as this makes me, I've also got a very very clear leading that even if this, what I have now with him, is the best I can expect, then I will take it over nothing.  because he's actually really important to me, pretty much all of a sudden, and I don't want to lose that.  I always tease Jer that marriage is about compromise. but everything is about compromise, and if my compromise is bigger than his, that's my choice. I wrote an email, as I do most nights, and told him he was important to me, because he'd told me I was important to him earlier when we were talking. And hopefully the email and the conversation say, "I like you, and I respect the fact that you have a girlfriend." Oh, lord. It looks like it's nearly time for one of my least favorite sentences in the english language. "My girlfriend thinks you're really cool." Really? cause I think she's a skank who stole my man. "Oh, thanks. She's really great too. it was great meeting her. I had a great time."

but not for now. For now, bed time. night!

Comments

[two-star.livejournal.com]

"My girlfriend thinks you're really cool."

Ouch.

On Thursday I'm going out to see live music at a pub with the woman from my set dance class who was flirting with me. And married. Area Life Not Fair.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Some guys understand and don't have to ask. I always asked for someone to walk me home at college, and I took some crap for it. But Dale, the guy who may as well have used the 500-question purity test as a checklist, was adamant that of course he would walk me home, and I should be really careful, because I never knew what strange people they might have out there. Very earnest italics from strange and slightly scary man. I was amused.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Well, of course he knew what people were thinking about doing, he'd done it all. :) At college, I was okay on our campus, but I just remember how *amazed* my one guy friend was that I'd never seen the fountains on Western Michigan's campus at night. "I come up here all the time," he said. And me and my best friend looked at him and said, "because you're a boy, and you can do those things." And he was a smart sensitive boy and all that, but I don't think he'd thought about that before, and I remember how startled he looked.

My boy said he remembered right why it would be so after he asked, but that he was also hoping my reason would involve pumpkins. "Of course," I said, "but that's so obvious I didn't think it was necessary to mention it."

[podling]

But you also have to consider that there are girls who really *aren't* like that. I mean, different places, different circumstances, different people. I've never hesitated to walk alone anywhere I lived at any time of day. Though to be fair, I did occasionally think, walking down the street at 3:30 am, that maybe I should reconsider that. ;)

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's not universal, but particularly in new settings, it's more common than not. I probably would have been perfectly safe walking on Western's campus by myself.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

*shrug* I walk everywhere at night. I should stop that, because there was some bad stuff going on a few blocks south of me this month. But...nothing to do when you need a carton of milk at three in the morning, right?

[silme.livejournal.com]

Why can't a female walk around alone in a city at night? I've done it for years and years. Philadelphia, DC, New York City, Denver, San Francisco, London, Paris, Glasgow, Los Angeles, Mexico City etc. In good neighbourhoods, in bad neighbourhoods.

Hey, I still want that Doctorow rec. Please? :)