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Jul. 13th, 2004 01:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanaiseGuys always ask why you can't go out in the city alone at night. I can't go out after dark because I'm a girl. it's unfair, it's not universally true, and it sucks.
I can however have a very good time walking around with someone for nearly 2.5 hours, including seeing John Kerry's house and going to Trader Joe's (so glad I didn't have money with me, though I probably could have restrained myself and just bought a candy bar or some such.) Lots of walking, most of it slowly, lots of talking, most of about nothing important, and a leisurely ramble through the grocery store. "You just keep talking, and I'll just keep interupting you, don't worry about it." I never do. I pause and wait for the end of the interuption, or I get distracted and go off on a tangent with them. There really is something about walking through a grocery store and just looking at the food. lots of exotic foods that I haven't ever made, but maybe i should. And natural food stores have the best 'candy' stuff.
So, there's been one defining characteristic about boys who I adore for, oh, quite some time now. Pretty much since I moved to DC, so 4 years, but probably longer, thanks to some college crushes. Every time I fall for a boy, he has a girl. And while I'd really hoped I was over that, it doesn't seem like I am. I may or may not tell him I want first dibs on him when he's single. But as...unhappy as this makes me, I've also got a very very clear leading that even if this, what I have now with him, is the best I can expect, then I will take it over nothing. because he's actually really important to me, pretty much all of a sudden, and I don't want to lose that. I always tease Jer that marriage is about compromise. but everything is about compromise, and if my compromise is bigger than his, that's my choice. I wrote an email, as I do most nights, and told him he was important to me, because he'd told me I was important to him earlier when we were talking. And hopefully the email and the conversation say, "I like you, and I respect the fact that you have a girlfriend." Oh, lord. It looks like it's nearly time for one of my least favorite sentences in the english language. "My girlfriend thinks you're really cool." Really? cause I think she's a skank who stole my man. "Oh, thanks. She's really great too. it was great meeting her. I had a great time."
but not for now. For now, bed time. night!
I can however have a very good time walking around with someone for nearly 2.5 hours, including seeing John Kerry's house and going to Trader Joe's (so glad I didn't have money with me, though I probably could have restrained myself and just bought a candy bar or some such.) Lots of walking, most of it slowly, lots of talking, most of about nothing important, and a leisurely ramble through the grocery store. "You just keep talking, and I'll just keep interupting you, don't worry about it." I never do. I pause and wait for the end of the interuption, or I get distracted and go off on a tangent with them. There really is something about walking through a grocery store and just looking at the food. lots of exotic foods that I haven't ever made, but maybe i should. And natural food stores have the best 'candy' stuff.
So, there's been one defining characteristic about boys who I adore for, oh, quite some time now. Pretty much since I moved to DC, so 4 years, but probably longer, thanks to some college crushes. Every time I fall for a boy, he has a girl. And while I'd really hoped I was over that, it doesn't seem like I am. I may or may not tell him I want first dibs on him when he's single. But as...unhappy as this makes me, I've also got a very very clear leading that even if this, what I have now with him, is the best I can expect, then I will take it over nothing. because he's actually really important to me, pretty much all of a sudden, and I don't want to lose that. I always tease Jer that marriage is about compromise. but everything is about compromise, and if my compromise is bigger than his, that's my choice. I wrote an email, as I do most nights, and told him he was important to me, because he'd told me I was important to him earlier when we were talking. And hopefully the email and the conversation say, "I like you, and I respect the fact that you have a girlfriend." Oh, lord. It looks like it's nearly time for one of my least favorite sentences in the english language. "My girlfriend thinks you're really cool." Really? cause I think she's a skank who stole my man. "Oh, thanks. She's really great too. it was great meeting her. I had a great time."
but not for now. For now, bed time. night!
