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Feb. 23rd, 2004 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanaiseMeh. I could feel all successful and cool today, for so many reasons. I installed XP on my laptop and got it up and going. But, I decided to see why it was getting so hot, so I took it all apart, and my mom pulled lots of fluff and lint and such out of the heatsink. And while I was very impressive, and got it all back together again with all the pieces in the right places and all, it seems to be broken now. LIke the real and for sure type of broken, with the monitor not turning on. but hey, the fan goes on, and it's nice and blowy, so that should count as something. Then there's the other stupid bit--I was playing around with the laptop before I took it apart, because I don't have much experience with XP. And I activated it, because I didn't know how it worked and I was curious. So when I stopped dinking around and installed XP on this machine, lo and behold, it hates me and won't let me activate because the other machine was activated. gah! Why was I so stupid? I don't know what if anything I can do about this, which makes me even less happy, and contributes to my urges to kick things and burst into tears that I discuss later.
I'm also cranky today overall--I'm upset about things, I just want to go hysterical for a while and have friends around to take me out to coffee or just give me a hug or anything like that. And I know it's just PMS, and that it'll go away in a few days, but the thing is, like cramps, knowing why I feel the way I feel doesn't suddenly make it less real. It's not like I can say, "Oh, well, silly me, it's all in my head, don't I feel better now." because I don't. I still want to kick things and have a temper tantrum and sulk and everything. I just know why I'm *this* cranky
And because of this, I keep thinking of the dream I had last night (well, and it also might be why I had the dream to begin with, it's hard to say), which was sweet and lovely. It was a dream about K, which I haven't had in the longest time, and it also had people from HS in it, since I don't always remember why I know people anymore, and it's hard to keep them all in the right file. It had a boy from college, one of my favorite boys, and someone I don't know what's happened with, other than a teeny tiny picture in a wedding photo , and it made me very sad when I woke up because it wasn't real and it hadn't ever been real. Even when I was dreaming it, it was a little sad, just because I always knew it was a dream, even when I was having a fun time. And of course, being as I was the one dreaming it, by 'fun time,' I mean we were sitting somewhere talking for a lot of it. I miss college.
I'm also cranky today overall--I'm upset about things, I just want to go hysterical for a while and have friends around to take me out to coffee or just give me a hug or anything like that. And I know it's just PMS, and that it'll go away in a few days, but the thing is, like cramps, knowing why I feel the way I feel doesn't suddenly make it less real. It's not like I can say, "Oh, well, silly me, it's all in my head, don't I feel better now." because I don't. I still want to kick things and have a temper tantrum and sulk and everything. I just know why I'm *this* cranky
And because of this, I keep thinking of the dream I had last night (well, and it also might be why I had the dream to begin with, it's hard to say), which was sweet and lovely. It was a dream about K, which I haven't had in the longest time, and it also had people from HS in it, since I don't always remember why I know people anymore, and it's hard to keep them all in the right file. It had a boy from college, one of my favorite boys, and someone I don't know what's happened with, other than a teeny tiny picture in a wedding photo , and it made me very sad when I woke up because it wasn't real and it hadn't ever been real. Even when I was dreaming it, it was a little sad, just because I always knew it was a dream, even when I was having a fun time. And of course, being as I was the one dreaming it, by 'fun time,' I mean we were sitting somewhere talking for a lot of it. I miss college.
