All the books that I have read were written about you

[tanaise]

So, I wrote this story about exactly a year ago. And I was trying some really odd things with it, and I don't think they worked at all, just confused everyone. I was trying to start the story in the middle, and tell it both ways, back and forth, till the end, which would look just like the start, which would be the next to last scene

And I sort of did that, and I sort of didn't. No one got that the next to the last scene was the beginning, though they got that it was circular. And so everyone fussed because the n-t-l scene says the goddess has been incarnate for 18 months, and that's the longest ever, and the last one says that the goddess has been incarnate for 26 months, and that's the longest ever, even longer than her predessor. And this confuses people because they think it's inconsistent, even though it isn't, they just don't see the pattern. Which means I suck, and I hate this story, still, even today. It's up on the workshop again, 'revised' which in this case means 'I shuffled it around again, so maybe it makes sense this way, and I forgot everything else that was suggested, or they're not moving me as old crits, so I'm trying again."

And there's a sound like a ship's horn outside, which would be weird enough, (you know, as I'm not anywhere with ships) even if I didn't count the fact that I used to hear this all the time in Kalamazoo and my roommate and I would have long discussions about it, and I don't think we ever figured out what it was. .

Comments

your story

[(Anonymous)]

You might try different tenses. But whatever you do, don't give in to normalizing your story. This is the biggest danger to workshops that you hear everywhere. Stick with your vision--just clarify what you're up to.

It sounds like it might fit in with my semi-pro antho. If you're interested in what I would say, send it to blzblack@yahoo.com. I tend, however, to make multiple revision requests.

Best,

Trent

[llaregyb.livejournal.com]

You might try dating the sections?

Or numbering them non-consequtively, 3,2,1,4 or whatever?

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

I don't use headings like that when I write, as I never look at them as a reader.

[d2leddy.livejournal.com]

I like fictin like that. Disparate scenes chopped up and mixed in, out of order.

[fingle.livejournal.com]

Ship's horns? We have railroad tracks nearby, and when the trains are at a certain distance, or the weather conditions are just right, the air horn sounds just like a ship's horn. I always tell visitors who hear them that we should "Go down to the canal and watch the barges go by..." Not sure if they ever believe me or not, but it's a funny mental image in the middle of the greater L.A. basin...