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Jan. 9th, 2003 10:50 amSo I was thinking more about the feminism issue. And I wondered if me being a feminist is why I wouldn't put up with the sort of crap I see some people talk about putting up with. There are things people just are not allowed to say to me. anything involving gender dimorphism is pretty much top of my list. Jenny says I don't put up with crap because I'm a bitch, but is that the same thing? Feminism is...expressing opinions that differentiate me from a doormat. A bitch is someome who does the same thing, basically. I know I have had a liberal upbringing, and that I've always had very strong women rolemodels in my life.
(I do wonder sometimes if my lack of willingness to put up with it is because of my lack of experience in relationships, but I don't think that's it. Heather's a feminist, and so's Craig. Jenny's a feminist, so I assume T must be as well, or she would have drowned him herself.)
But still. This behavior is completely beyond my comprehension. Why do people allow others to excuse behavior because of their sex? So what if you're a girl or they're a girl. That doesn't excuse inappropriate behavior. All that forgiving jerkish behavior does is encourage jerkish behavior. I have been told all my life that girls can do anything they want to do. Why are there boys who seem to have missed this lesson? I know guys who love cooking--not chefs, just guys who like to cook. Why are there also still guys who apparently feel they are genetically incapable of cooking, even when cooking is defined as something like, "reheating leftovers in the oven"?
I run into this problem when I write as well. When I write characters that are guys but not, you know, stomping around grabbing their crotches and spitting on things, I have people who don't belive they're guys, or that they're straight guys. I write women characters who are strong--mentally or physically--and still attractive to men, and people complain about that. What? How can an inability to open a door mean someone is more feminine than me? I open the door for myself. I open the door for others. And I smile and thank people, men or women, who hold the door for me. It's just endlessly fascinating that a woman doesn't see the dicotomy of being *both* not a feminist and the sole income for the household. Do they miss the point that they wouldn't be able to have any income at all if not for feminism? Or do they sign their checks over to their husbands because, you know, they're a *girl* and girls can't do math?
(I do wonder sometimes if my lack of willingness to put up with it is because of my lack of experience in relationships, but I don't think that's it. Heather's a feminist, and so's Craig. Jenny's a feminist, so I assume T must be as well, or she would have drowned him herself.)
But still. This behavior is completely beyond my comprehension. Why do people allow others to excuse behavior because of their sex? So what if you're a girl or they're a girl. That doesn't excuse inappropriate behavior. All that forgiving jerkish behavior does is encourage jerkish behavior. I have been told all my life that girls can do anything they want to do. Why are there boys who seem to have missed this lesson? I know guys who love cooking--not chefs, just guys who like to cook. Why are there also still guys who apparently feel they are genetically incapable of cooking, even when cooking is defined as something like, "reheating leftovers in the oven"?
I run into this problem when I write as well. When I write characters that are guys but not, you know, stomping around grabbing their crotches and spitting on things, I have people who don't belive they're guys, or that they're straight guys. I write women characters who are strong--mentally or physically--and still attractive to men, and people complain about that. What? How can an inability to open a door mean someone is more feminine than me? I open the door for myself. I open the door for others. And I smile and thank people, men or women, who hold the door for me. It's just endlessly fascinating that a woman doesn't see the dicotomy of being *both* not a feminist and the sole income for the household. Do they miss the point that they wouldn't be able to have any income at all if not for feminism? Or do they sign their checks over to their husbands because, you know, they're a *girl* and girls can't do math?
