Physical Contact

[tanaise]

I love being touched. That probably sounds wrong. I like physical contact. I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have any close friends here, male or female, and I start realizing after a while how rarely I touch someone. On purpose, hardly ever. I'll end up having these days where I'll shake hands at meeting, and realize that it's the first time I've consciously touched someone since meeting the previous week. How awful is that?

Comments

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

This was absolutely killing me this past year... I had yendi, but no one else, and I was so accustomed to cuddling my friends on an at-least-twice-weekly basis. Now I have metaphorge, who's an utter cuddlepuppy, which should help. :)

[podling]

That sucks! :(

I've been feeling very touch deprived lately too. I mean, I'm a very tactile person. I like touching and being touched. And I don't have that happen anywhere near as often as I'd like it to. Some of my friends are touchable, but lately I don't see them that much, or those that I do aren't really the touchable ones. Some have moved away. Some I just don't see very often.

It's worse right after I visit my family though. When I'm there, people are always hugging me, my family, my friends there (though I tend not to see them as often), my dog (well, she tries). Hell, when my brother sees me he comes over, gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek! So much more physical affection when I'm there and then I come home and it's like alienation central. I hate that.

touched

[(Anonymous)]

It is hard. Touching is in fact very important to humans; part of our genetic heritage. I have a hard time with this, also, because I find it very hard to touch people -- our cultural barriers are powerfully encoded into my brain. Part of me just wants to cuddle people, and part of me can't even get near them. The meaning of a touch then spins around in my head, and in a worst case scenario can lead into your other post today -- crushes. If only we lived in a society where there was no meaning behind touch, and we just lived in contact with each other...

    --bluejack

Re: touched

[podling]

Well, and that's really the problem. It means different things to different people. What I consider acceptable with my friends isn't always acceptable with friends to others. It can be misinterpreted, as can anything between people, really. And then there are some people who just don't seem that touchable, and though some of them would be happier if they were being touched, they just give off the "stay away" vibes. I do it sometimes, and I remember tanaise saying she used to sometimes too. It's a sad part of life.

Re: touched

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And the worst thing was, I really liked him touching me, but I couldn't figure out if there was a way to say that without sounding like I wanted anything more than just an arm around my waist or anything.

spontaniety

[astrophysicat.livejournal.com]

I find when I feel like that, that even asking for a hug doesn't work. It's the spontaniety of it that I miss, the feeling that a certain level of touch is normal and natural and comfortable, and a solicited hug just doesn't cut it, just makes it weirder.

I got to the point in France where I'd slap my advisor on the back, punch him in the arm or otherwise hit him just to have physical contact. And while that was normal and okay, it was still pathetic. But it was France, so eventually I was able to substitute cheek kissing Doris as my daily dose. Though Jack still thought it was weird that people who see each other every day still kiss...