Strong women

[tanaise]

I realized that what bothered me about the strength issue isn't the idea that the character is flawed (because he isn't--he is a guy who likes strong women, I've always known that), but the idea that I am flawed. I am strong. And I've always thought that was a good thing to be. So the idea that it's not scares me. I'm bad with social stuff, and I get nervous when something I thought was true shifts on me and all of a sudden I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong, and I realize I have nothing to base my belief on.

Comments

No, you are "right," IMHO

[melintur.livejournal.com]

I am attracted to "strong" women - But instead of Strong, I would rather say Independant or "whole."

Heather is a "strong" woman - And I love her for (because of?) it. Why?
I appreciate that she does not expect me to have a certain role "over" her due to the fact I have a Y Chromosome.
She doesn't need me to protect her (though I will if asked and can)
She doesn't need me to defend her (though I will if asked and can)

The relationship I crave is a relationship of sharing and equality and phases like the moon. When I am weak, she can help me and vice-versa. I would quickly tire of a woman whom I would have to support, protect, shield, defend, etc. To me this relationship is a relationship one has with a child, not a grown person.

I think this is why i hate "girly" girls who never seem to have grown up - ones who seem to have moved from daddy to boyfriend to husband. Likeways, I also suppose I wouln't want a man who moves from mommy to girlfriend to wife for support because of assumed gender roles.

I am also sure there are those people who prefer such arrangements, and I certainly wish them the best, and hope they find partners who look for like personalities -- But I am not one.

-=C

P.S. I also love when H steps up to a guy and says "Bring it on, Woman!" Knowing that I can stand by and watch, patiently waiting to help her if she needs me to help.

the problem

[(Anonymous)]

Every character is flawed. Every human is flawed. And for every character quality, no matter what you think of it, there will be some who admire it and some who do not. I bet that you are also flawed, although it would be an unusual person to describe "strength" as a flaw. However, if a few people telling you that your feelings are incorrect leaves you "realizing I have nothing to base my belief on," than I might suggest you are less strong than you think you are.

Ooh that sounds awfully mean, doesn't it? I am not great with social stuff either (a flaw). I don't mean to be mean, just tossing an idea out there for consideration.

-bluejack

Gah, this took forever.

[(Anonymous)]

Bluejack is right that waffling about one's beliefs isn't a sign of strength. That said, it's good to question underlying assumptions now and again.

There are men who like strong women; I believe they are in fact in the distinct minority. My husband is one. But if you asked him to describe me, I sincerely doubt that "strong" would be on his top ten descriptors.

And the other point about the character was the descriptions you used in that paragraph. It's not that you're flawed, it's that your understanding of men needs work if you're going to write a believable first-person male describing a woman.

[(Anonymous)]

eBear'as husband here.
speaking solely for myself, I ONLY like strong women. I like women who are strong and capable and independant and gutsy. Society and the media try to beat women down and tel lthem how to dress and act and what they should look like and how much they should weigh. I like women who say "screw it" and live life on their terms. There's nothing wrong with strong women. Stick to your guns!

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah! Right on. Thanks.....