(no subject)

[tanaise]

You know those times when you say something to fill a pause, and realize immediately how little you wanted to say what you just said? How it's the last thing in the whole entire world that you wanted to say just then, and how badly you've just screwed yourself by saying it? I know everyone else has them too. I just feel like I'm the only person who has them. That sudden sinking feeling as I hear myself talking, and my desperate wish that I could just zzzip, rewind over that moment, and say what I'd meant to say but didn't. "Yes, you" I was trying to say. "Someone completely different" is what I did say. Could I be any worse at communicating? How can I write about these things when I can't manage a convincing life as it is?

Comments

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

You can make sense writing without being able to make sense when talking. I'm living proof. :)

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Wait, is that supposed to make me feel better about myself? :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure... :)

[podling]

I *so* know what you mean! Last night I was talking to Cara about this too. See, the other day I was slightly uncomfortable in a situation, but really saw no way of leaving gracefully, and I just kept talking. And I mean, I talk a lot, but this was different. I was horrified. I wanted to shut up, I wanted to stop what was coming out of my mouth, as each sentence got more and more inane and stupid and just annoying even to me, never mind what everyone else thought. It's like something or someone else was possessing me and in my head I was just sitting back in horror. (this sounds like a description of 'being john malkovich' but never mind that) So yeah...

But writing you have time to edit, so that's all good. :)

And I think you're good at communicating, just that it's harder when it's something close to you *and* that's important to you.

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

I get you. I do this, too (I'm sure you're not surprised).

I have sort of a pre-echo in my head of what I'm about to say, sometimes I can manage to not say it, but mostly it's like a car wreck. I can see it coming, but I can't stop it.

Argh.

pre echo

[(Anonymous)]

cool term- pre echo- I hear ya