tanaise | (no subject)

So I'm messing about with Red Sky (something more significant than simply changing the name, important though that was.) And I'm merrily deleteing chunks left and right, and hopefully making Jack a lot less important than he was before, because much as I love him, he's not the point of this story, and neither is the relationship, and hopefully the story will reflect that.

So, I get to the point that I've cleaned up 95% of what I can clean up. And now I need to sort out what needs added in. So I read all my crits, and agree with most of the sane ones, and, again, make the changes I can make. And I'm fussing with it, whining over the ones that point out that it's thin to the point of onionskin at parts, and trying to think of how to make it thicker.

Of course, I say. I'll add a fairytale! That always works. So I pull up surlalune, everyone's favorite fairytale board, and search for sacrifice. And it pulls up something that's...interesting. Called "Little Mermaid and Feminism." Of course, it's not important here, because while I did think about making this into a LM story, I changed my mind. So I skim along, having put my writing brain on autopilot while I read. and I get to this point

"The HCA version, in contrast, seemed to indicate to me that even if a woman/girl went after her goals, stretched and sacrifice to obtain them, the most she could hope for was a shadowy existence and disappointment. "

And I am hit by lighting. Because apparently most writers have a story they like to come back to. And for right now, mine seems to be the little mermaid. Allow me to demonstrate. The super-synopsis of my story now: "she gives up something for a reason, gets where she wanted to be, can't stay, even though she wants to, and ends up back where she started, and with less than she did to start with. "

Well, says I. At least she's not sea foam.

And the story is back to being thought about again. If anyone would like to read it, with an eye towards conflict, or just because, let me know.