tanaise | (no subject)

I ran out of singulair the other day. This is my fabulously expensive allergy/asthma drug. And I'm no longer getting an income, so I didn't want to renew the prescription, plus I actually have to call the doctor about this, so I keep putting it off. And I also keep finding things that I can't do since it's worn off. For example, when I have it, I can laugh during "whose line is it" without having a coughing fit and being unable to breath for the rest of the night. When I was at Clarion, I did that all the time--I'd have enormous coughing fits any time we'd be having a good time, especially outside. I've never popped a rib out of place, so I didn't really think they were *that* bad. I did have days when my back hurt so much any time I moved, but it usually would take me most of the day to remember a coughing fit. (those are really nasty days, by the way, because you feel awful and you can't remember why) but basically, I never thought anything of it. It was just the way I was. And then when I came home in April, I went on a little bike ride (a mile, with an uphill tendency) and couldn't breathe for two days or more, despite the fact that I never got out of breath. So now I take the fabulously expensive pills, and they make my allergies manageable and they make me able to breath properly. Except when I run out of them. I had this borderline panic attack the other day, and it wasn't until I shook myself by the scruff of the neck that I realized the reason that the biofeedback techniques that I taught myself weren't working was that I *couldn't* take deep slow breaths. And so while my brain was going, "nice and calm, deep breaths," my body was going "fight or flight!" So I took one of my remaining stash (now one, which I will have tonight.) and used a different method of relaxing and it was much better the next night.

I should make a list. To Do on Friday:

get credit card for my mother.
Renew prescription for medicine.
Package everything for mailing (Amanda, Andrea, M'ris, my roommate, my brother, any story that goes out.).
Find Tam Lin.
Query Say... (hmm. I think they're going on vacation soonish, possibly like, tomorrow, so I probably should have queried already. I'll do that before bed.)
Back everything up
Back up docs onto website.
Reformat to XP.
Hope it's better than ME was.