(no subject)

so I finally wrote the thank you note to my stepmom. I still should write something to my dad, probably. I'm just awfully bad at communicating with him.
( note )

I don't know now. My roommate said it's too apologetic, but I do feel very guilty that it's taken me this long to write it. And I'm worried because I directed it to Janet specifically, so do I write another note for ben? I told him something much shorter the other day. gah. I hate thank you notes. people should just know that I like it and I am grateful for it. After all, they certainly didn't give it to me thinking, "Man, I'll bet she hates this and can't wait to get rid of it." I hope. Other than andrea.

You, you always told me/that bars are dark and lonely

So, the question as to why this particular knee is always the one that hurts may have been addressed last night. When I slammed it into the same table leg twice in a matter of hours. both times hard enough to leave a bruise, and the second time, ramming my knee cap against one of the ornately turned edges so hard I had to sit very very still for a minute. This is the first time I've done this since I moved into this house, but this is the same knee that I did this on average 2-4 times a week all through college. So this may be oh, what's the word? not circumstantial, but something like that. There may be no causal relation between the repeated bangings and the occassional problems, but then again, there may be.

My mother no longer says "bless you" when I sneeze. "but you don't believe," she said when I protested. She's right, of course, but I still feel cheated of my blessings.

The tea shop boy wanted to give me free tea this morning. He was very obviously torn, but there was someone else working there, so he hesitated for a long moment, and I watched his eyes flicker past me to where she was helping someone else, and back to me, and finally he asked for money.

I'm trying to convince myself not to go be bad after work/at lunch/whenever. Because I think maybe I really need some Death Cab for Cutie, and maybe I could find it used... I really need to stop spending money like I actually have it.