I wanna...I wanna...I wanna be adored

I'm having a very frustrating time writing lately. I'm getting to the point that I don't really want any of the short stories that are out to sell, cause they're sucky. I mean, I love them, but not unconditionally. And I think really, the only stories I should have looking for homes should be unconditionally loved, because if I know they're flawed, shouldn't I fix them?

I can't get anything to work right lately. I feel like I'm plateauing again, except I haven't really been writing much at all in so long as it is, I don't think I can be already again.

I have opened so many of my long-time problem stories this week that it's ridiculous, but I'm not sure what I want to do with them just yet, so I just poke about and then close them.

I've got a focus chat the first week in December or so, and I think I'm going to run Blinding through it because it does really need to be about twice to three times as long, but I'm not entirely sure how to do that--make every scene longer? Add more scenes? Likewise, Bough is gorgeous and I adore it, but the scenes are all summaries, which will make it approximately too long once I spell them all out.

I'm pondering opening Requiem and fiddling with it for a bit, as I'm *so* close to finished with it, I think. It's all the ending that needs work right now, and I'm almost done sorting out one of the big issues with it--giving Duck a role in it, but still letting it be Adrian's story. I do need to set up the parent's attitude a little--they're very much, "oops, too bad, guess she's really dead, time to move on with our life" and I don't want it to come across as that, I want it to be quiet resignation--"we'd so hoped for good news, but this is what we were expecting deep down inside, so c'est la vie, at least we were prepared and can mourn her now." Because truly, what Adrian does is something that no one's ever even thought about before. And I'm not getting that across well enough, and it frustrates me because everyone who reads it wants me to correct it one way, and that's not the right way, but I haven't really put my finger on what makes everyone turn that way. Though it's clearly something in the scene with the parents. Hmm. I wonder if I should mention what he *should* do with Puppy, and what he chooses to do. I wonder if maybe that little bit is what keeps people from understanding what he's doing and why it's unusual. Because most people working his job aren't sensitives--those people usually join Communications/Seances if they're going to join the force at all. Forensics usually just gets given the cases by the sensitives to look into and make sure there isn't an issue there that would result in the non-Mourning. They have no direct communication with the ghosts, just trance notes and automatic writing type things from Communications (he's not just a sensitive, he's *very* sensitive--communications really wants him. They're in charge of laying ghosts, and someone who can interact directly with them is exactly what they want.) So there's a lot of paperwork, a good bit of research and cross-checking--the ghost claims to have died in such-and-such a manner, there's a Jane doe who died in that manner, do they match up? Can their name be found?--and a lot of closing the file for now and moving on. I'll have to open it up tomorrow and see what the story looks like.

I was listening to a guy talk about his version of Persephone and Hades that he'd just produced (music, of the choral/classical sort) and wished mildly that I could get coaltown to work the way it's supposed to. It's hibernating now. I know I"m missing something key about it, and until I sort that out, it's not going to fall into place. So if anyone is bored and wants to read it and discuss it with me, please do. Because I'm going to have to talk it over and over and over until something clicks. But I'm not actively trying to write it for now.

And now it's way late, so I'm off to bed.